Yesterday we spent the day together (like always), but it was more special then most days. ii told him how thankful ii was for everything he does.. We then went to see the kids Pop, and ii wasnt looking forward to seeing my kids sperm donor. I was so angry at the fact that he couldnt even get out of the car to say hello to HiS KiDS!!! but it wasnt till ii got home ii realised it didnt matter and im actually glad he didnt.. my kids dont need him in their life. They have my Partner. My mum will even agree that hes been there for my kids more in this 8 months, then their own father has in 5 years!!
Seeing how happy my kids are with him melts my heart. They are my main priority in life and aslong as their happy my life is complete =].
xx
Its been 6 years since my dads death. Yet ii still find myself at breaking point and holding on by a thread.. ii believe that everything happens for a reason.. but still ii get myself thinking "why him???", "such an amazing human being. why do the innocent die young??"
My father was seriously the most amazing dad in this world. although he only biologically fathered two kids. he would always tell people he had four kids.
im missing him more and more as each day goes past.. ii wish he was around to have met my kids. ii know he is watching over us. but ii still wish my kids could have met their poppy.
SO iD JUST LiKE TO SAY HAPPY FATHERS DAY TO MY WONDERFUL DAD. ALTHOUGH YOUR NOT HERE,, YOU WiLL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN <3<3
------------------
On another note about fathers day.. (or for this part ii should say deadbeat dads day)..
went and saw the kids poppy on their dads side.. he had gone out to lunch with his son (my kids dad). and as they dropped my kids poppy off. my kids deadbeat father and his gf drove straight off. ugh!! like seriously!!!! pfft whatever... your not worth it anyway!!!!!!!!.
sorry a little annoyed about it!!
I denied it for so long, because ii really didn't think ii had it. even with harming myself, ii thought it was just a faze ii was going through.
I am finally seeing a councilor now and it has help soo much. even with the littlest things. I would get embarrassed with how bad my memory is. but turns out. with the childhood ii had its no wonder my memories all over the place. and there are some things ii can not remember.
I'm not ashamed with telling people ii suffer depression. ii used to get shy and think if ii say that people will think ii want attention.. which is NOT the case!!
ii still have my days where ii push people away and just keep to myself (apart from my kids). and ii hate it because ive lost friends from it.
I also wont to get better so my kids dont follow my footsteps. ii like any other parent. want the best for my kids. and ii defiantly do not want them growing up in the same lifestyle ii did.
xx
hello everyone. thought id introduce myself :]:]
my name is madison-elisabeth. im twentyone
a mother to two kidlets. my son damien 4 and my daughter isabella 2.
ii have a partner, although he is not the father of neither one of my kids. (they both have the same dad.. but he has chosen not to have anything to do with his kids.)even though my partner and ii have only been dating since january 17th. he has been such a big inpact in my kids life. he has been there for them and ii since we've been together. he helps with everything. so its a nice feeling after 4 years of doing it solo. ii now have a helping hand in raising my kids.
im also giving facebook a break. as there was just too much drama going on.. ii couldnt post anything without someone having a sook about it.!!
sooo its going to take time in getting use to this. as im a little cluess. :]
tc xO
